Following on from the previous post on Happiness it occurs to me that sometimes it is our lack of Happiness that is the prompt for many a divorce. "I am not happy ... so it must be somethng you are doing that stops me from being happy." So we build an argument to support this idea and we set about fixing the situation. Voila! A new life and a clean start.
Of course that sometimes puts us in the lap of a whole other set of conditions which may be less than desirable.
The cause of the lack of happiness has gone ... so why aren't we happy now?
Perhaps the issue was not entirely the now departed partner.
Or perhaps the issue that involved the now departed partner was not just them.. What if the problem with the partner was somehow a factor of something we did - or failed to do, that could have changed the dynamic from the outset?
Well if it is all done now what's the difference, right?
The difference, if there be one, is that we can get set in our ways of seeing the world. We can filter so effectively to screen out those things that we don't want and keep in those things that we do want that we can lose contact with the thought that came before wanting that thing. We can set up automatic filters that served some purpose at the time but now serve only to close us off from other options. Other possibilities.
Often I hear suggestions made with a response from someone "Oh, I couldn't do that" or "No, that's not Me..." In truth this sense of what is "me" is a confected idea of identity. It can be much less a case of who we are as it is who we think we are. To put this another way, it is sometimes just a collection of habits that we retain and stick a label on as being our identity.
Of course it isn't at all.
We can do - and indeed we do do - precisely what we want. It may not be a conscious decision, but decision it is nevertheless.
So just supposing right now you were to consider what you would do differently in a relationship.Consider how you would map out your life to be. What you would be doing and what you would stop doing. What would that be like? What changes would you have on your map? What would you want to attract more of into your life?
You can do that now.
You don't need to change much at all.
Just say goodbye to some habits.
Review what's true for you now, not what was important in the past at a different time in your life.
Divorce all those old beliefs that keep you from having the life you want now.
The door is open.
There is nothing keeping you.
Lindy Asimus
Business Coach
Mobile: 0403 365855
lindyasimus@gmail.com
www.lindyasimus.com
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